Dani Gabriel
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adult fiction

7/18/2018

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adult fiction

when i was in sixth grade i got dropped off
at the library every day after school.
my mom was at work and my dad long gone.
there was a mini whiteboard at the desk
for kids to write a note to their parents
if they went to 7/11 for soda.
monday through friday i roamed the stacks
looking for books on esp and wilderness survival.
the only section i never strayed into
was romance.
love was irrelevant,
sex was something meant to hurt you,
humiliation passed on
behind the bathroom door.
i was just trying to learn how to carve
a canoe with your pocket knife and
lash shelter together with vines.
i had friends who hid
trashy pink covered volumes
under their beds. they traded them
back and forth with whispers
and wondering about first kisses
and first times
and what it would all be like.
i was horrified.
the flipped hair, the bicep curl,
heavy breathing and thrust,
sighing dialogue.
someone’s lace on the carpet.
and already the boys on the playground
with rolled shirt sleeves
and designs shaved at their temples,
the girls with short acid wash skirts
and aquanet bangs.
not for me.
desire was foreign,
carved out of my body like a tumor,
cancerous possibilities that will just
kill you.
i was hell bent on escape,
honing my super powers
and digging
roots in the dark dirt.



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love poem in chaos

7/17/2018

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frame

and yes, i’ve been crying
for months, and rightly,
but tonight
you’re playing music
i hate
in the kitchen, and
looking lovely.
i don’t remember dinner
or dessert
or anything you said,
i just keep thinking
of your silhouette
in the window.
shoulders tight,
deep blue t shirt,
jeans slung low.
and sometimes love
is like that.
framed by the light
obliterating
everything
else.

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the kingdom of god

7/14/2018

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the kingdom of god will not be realized

by those new blue shoes
or that album
or the glittery skirt i saw
or the pills or the liquor or
even my car
with the racing stripes.
it might be under
her sleepy eyelids though,
or his leg tossed
over my lap.
it might be in that tiny baby fist.
it might.
but you’re lost
if you think it’s in
12 hour office days
exhausted nights
early mornings it’s
not in your sadness
or even your rage.
the kingdom of god
will not
be realized by
prolonging our own suffering.
open your hand.
find your own
genius
there in your palm.
take a walk in the dim
and notice the stars.
then fight harder.
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in whole foods

7/10/2018

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in whole foods

i grabbed volcanic clay face wipes
in the checkout line at whole foods
where i was buying 6 dollar juice
with turmeric to clear my energy
or burn the pain away or
whatever
miracle 6 dollar juice
is supposed to perform.
i grabbed the package
so i could
wash my face in the car
and nobody would run into me still half crying,
patting my face with paper towels in the bathroom
before class.
yes.
depression is a monster
that no wheatgrass or crystals
can tame,
no windy walks or good books
or naps or other things
nobody has time for
can lift its weight.
don’t bother with prayers.
i’m positive
jesus is bored with me.
there are no miracles
floating in the bottom
of any bottle.
but i do like
6 dollar juice and maybe
some kind of organic carob
confection. or a new water bottle
that will keep my drink cold
​for the next century.
in this landscape
​there is no certain road
but
i am lost so often i know

there is
always
a way home.
i will wind through this
unmapped expanse
til i find
the back door.
you can
come with me.


​
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4th of july poem

7/4/2018

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4th of july poem

not until she can
lie on her back and
stare at the stars
in the july twighlight
ink pooling across the horizon
and fireworks starting to pop
over the water,
listening to her kids fight
over sparklers and the last popsicle
not until this mama
from guatemala
mexico
syria
currently sitting in a cage
children with or without her
currently desperate
to get to family
to get to home
not until she’s on the grass
next to you
will it be ok
for us to celebrate the birth
of freedom.
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    dani gabriel
    ​poet/writer

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