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more haiku...

8/19/2020

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three more pandemic summer haiku

i still love you like
burn it all down but now it’s
what’s left to be saved?

i thought i believed
in fire. turns out i’m down here
offering water.

full sky threatening
both lightening and downpour:
i open my hands.


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three haiku

8/17/2020

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three pandemic summer haiku

sky splintered morning
something fighting to get free
echoes my heart beat

sound of rain falling
mixed with fire trucks wailing past
will we burn or drown?

i am afraid to
love you, but i do, i do
sweet world erupting


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poem for my white transgender twelve year old son, thinking of twelve year old Tamir Rice shot by police while playing

7/21/2020

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poem for my white transgender twelve year old son, thinking of twelve year old Tamir Rice shot by police while playing

so much
topples
around us:

businesses
schools
the police state (maybe)

this morning
i’m noticing the birds sing
(they still do!)

i am celebrating quietly
that you chose to live
because honestly

that is the most revolutionary
thing i have seen
in a long while:

you breathing softly in your blankets
as the sun inches up
in a world

that at best calls you names
and at worst (maybe just average)
steals that breath

you are my revolutionary hope
my prayer
my promise

that the police state WILL topple
and all the sweet 12 year old boys
will breathe easy in their beds

that 12 year old Black boys
will not be deemed threats
and that you will always

remember what it feels like
to be treated as a menace
and defend your brothers

against your own
skin privilege when necessary
(because it will be necessary)

i pray for the day
all parents can stand
over messy twin beds

grateful their child sleeps safe
and not have to qualify like i do:
for the moment

and not have to fear
the birdsong
and the glorious riot of morning










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gratitude poem for you on a day that didn’t go my way

6/30/2020

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gratitude poem for you on a day that didn’t go my way

i was hoping for
a million dollar phone call
sometime before five and
maybe an ice cold
soda and maybe a gilded
acceptance letter and
a screen printed thank you note and
a kraft paper wrapped
apology.

i was ready to accept it all.
but instead i received
a long stretch
of silence:
just the cars rushing
rhythmically by
and no offers
beyond the reaching
shadow wisps on the wall.

by the time i gave up
on glory
you were half asleep
in our bed.
i am grateful for the lack
of registered letters
and wire transfers
and congratulatory messages:
because here you are
rolled up
in the blue embroidered quilt
reminding me
even on the days
nothing goes my way
your love
is gold foil filigree
miraculous
just waiting for me
to cut the lights.
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Love, Dare, Grow: Final Poem

6/28/2020

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for these days

these days we are
improvising:
there’s always an ingredient
that’s missing from the shelf,
something you needed but
couldn’t get.

each morning
gratitude
for all those who make do
with less than they deserve,
who are out here
fighting for more.

the world is on fire,
my heart is burning.

this poem was inspired by comments on the Love, Dare, Grow project. Quotes are in italics.
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day to day insurrection 

6/25/2020

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insurrection

i am here for the
day to day insurrection
of your breath,
the regime toppling power
of your grin.

you remind me
that what i really
have to do today
has nothing to do
with that
millionth meeting
that trillionth email:

my real
contribution
is laughter
in the bay wind,
a hand in your hand,
and this poem,
this
word.

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a poem about paperwork...

6/17/2020

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form

i am not on the list.
again
wandering the options
and finding none
fierce enough.
fine.
i’ll be
other
in a world where
the choices
are just between
one form of
death dealing
and another.
listen:
there’s a whole
field beyond the path.
come find
the joy
out here
where you’re not
supposed to go.
i have an outstretched hand
and so much magic
in my palm.


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love poem for the end

6/3/2020

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love poem for the end

this is a love poem for the end.
for the point at which everything
breaks and
it all
comes
tumbling
down.

this is a love poem for that moment
when white people
wake up from the nightmare
we’re perpetuating
and drop our weapons,
guns and money
bits of privilege
skittering across the floor.

this is a love poem for
the end.
before the new beginnings
there has to be
a breaking point.

the children are yelling
burn it down,
and overheard a helicopter.
i open my hand
and let everything
fall.

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Love, Dare, Grow: Follow Up

5/29/2020

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Love, Dare, Grow: Follow Up

I checked in with our El Cerrito families about their experience with shelter in place…

How is your family coping with the shelter in place order due to the coronovirus pandemic? Do you have a story you want to share?

Megan and Eric:

We’re using lots of opportunities to meet up via technology with members of our extended family outside of the house & neighborhood to remain connected to our global community, from livestream dance parties broadcast from the San Juan Islands and group meditation sits led from Oakland to a one-on-one round of drinks between here & Atlanta or singing songs to babies in Washington DC.

Nancy Donovan:

We are definitely cooking more together during this shelter in place time. It's a roller coaster. Some days feels like a vacation and some days I am fighting panic. Very surreal. Trying to stay healthy and positive.

The Hofmanns:

We don’t really have much to report. Obviously, life has changed substantially beyond our four walls. We don’t host our Thursday Night Dinners right now. They are on pause until we can safely resume. We are also just focusing on getting through every day, supporting each other in our household and supporting those we know (from a distance). Having just moved into our new place, we are getting used to a new normal, on top of all the other new normals out there… But we look forward in hope to the day when we can rebuild community and have people over for dinner.

Maggie Gabriel:

We take our dog for lots of walks. I’m painting a bird house. My brother is constantly FaceTiming his friends.

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Love, Dare, Grow: Part 4

5/29/2020

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Love, Dare, Grow Part Four

For part four of Love, Dare, Grow I interviewed by neighbors Megan and Eric. Megan grew up in the Midwest and spent the early 2000's on the East Coast before heading west. She has a longstanding commitment to California’s health care safety net, including almost a decade spent as a lay health worker at the Berkeley Free Clinic. Pre-pandemic, Megan enjoyed hiking adventures and seeking out swimming holes, practicing bikram yoga, and winning stuffed animals out of claw machines. These days, she still gets in (almost) daily hikes in the East Bay hills in between Zoom calls and spending time at home with her family. Eric was born & raised in Atlanta, GA, and has spent the past two decades calling the Bay Area home. He pays the bills sourcing oysters and keeping honey bees at a restaurant along the waterfront in SF and also proudly serves on the board of directors for The Watershed Project in Richmond. He spends his time hiking (preferably with a canine friend), foraging, gardening, music-making, and, in general, exploring.

Introductions: say three things about yourself and one about each other family member.

Megan: Midwestern at heart, lover of swimming holes, claw machines, and hiking up in the hills

Eric: Hospitable explorer of sights, sounds, and places

Fanny: spirited and loveable four legged mutt with one deer print paw

Fern: red-footed tortoise, like your favorite houseplant but walks around

Who is family?

Those individuals we’ve chosen to build community and life with and alongside. Those whom we love and love us regardless of how we show up each day.

How do you know?

They are relationships that are time and adversity tested.

What is unique about your family?

Relative to how our families were growing up and how our siblings’ families are, we’re following a path of different priorities and roles.

What do you think is the same about your family and other families?

Even though we don’t have (human) children, we organize and bend our time as individuals to balance between everyone’s needs, making sure that all members are supported and taken care of.

Why is family important to you?

Many adventures in life are not as rich unless you have someone or several someones to either share the experience or share tales of the experience with.

What does your family support you to do that you might not otherwise be able to do?

When we choose to put our head in the clouds, it’s important to have someone holding on to our feet.

What does home mean to you?

Home is where we get to live, act, dress, and be in a way that mimics eating comfort food. It’s also our launching pad and sanctuary for/from exploring the world.

What does home look like to you?

Home is a super happy medium - extra comfortable and relaxed without being too sloppy or messy; fun and inspiring but not too ridiculous; just the right amount of space and stuff to be contented and free but not overwhelmed or overburdened; bright but not blinding.

What is it like for a family making a home in this place?

This physical space/address is the first place that all the members of our family have shared together and will thus always hold a special place in our collective memories, and with that “firstness” comes many a shared success, failure, scary thing, and joy.

What are your dreams for your family?

To continue to grow as well-supported individuals and also a happy team, in ways that are both unexpected and yet familiar.

What about your fears for your family?

I fear a stagnancy with my family and our progression. Many families have one or more children whose growth and evolution gives them a sense of direction through time & space. By not having that, we must work to find different ways to observe and celebrate the passage of time.

What kind of support do families here need?

Families need to look out for each other, just as the members of a given family look out for one another. Also, families are the building blocks of community.

What’s your best family story?

Not so much a story but more of a best memory from a moment in time - last year on a beautiful Summer afternoon, the backyard apricot tree had sprinkled fruit all over the yard. Eric & I filled our mushroom-foraging baskets with orange fruit from the branches above while the dog and the tortoise circled the trunk and gobbled piece after piece off the ground without any prodding or instruction on our part - a family harvest.


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